O.J. Simpson Is Ridiculous

O.J. Simpson’s murder trial is quite possibly one of the most memorable courtroom dramas the American public has ever seen. The former football star and actor, O. J. Simpson, was tried on two counts of murder following the June 1994 deaths of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Lyle Goldman. Some experts have described this case as the most publicized criminal trial in American history.

Despite an overwhelming amount of evidence condemning him, Simpson was acquitted after a lengthy trial that lasted over eight months, and resulted in several shocking courtroom moments that nobody will have forget. Remember the white glove? Yeah, me too. “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.” Well, that’s exactly what happened. Although he was acquitted in criminal court, a civil panel later held O.J. liable for the slayings, socking him with a $33.5 million judgment against the former NFL star.

If I Did It

Most folks who get acquitted on two counts of first degree murder don’t write an autobiography and call it, If I Did It. Simpson’s acquittal shocked and outraged many people who felt that his guilt in the murder case was more than obvious. Instead of quietly living the rest of his life as a free man, he put himself (and the question of his innocence) in the public eye once again. In his shocking "faux confession" book, Simpson lays out a fictitious scenario of how he would have murdered his ex-wife Nicole Simpson, and Ronald Goldman. Yup, that makes total sense. 

Most people saw the book as O.J.’s sick way of reminding the public that he had gotten away with murder. Even his own publisher, Regan Books said, "This is a historic case, and I consider this his confession." Although O.J. has always maintained his innocence, even if he did confess he would still remain free under double-jeopardy protection.

The public found the book to be so offensive, that many book stores refused to even stock it. Even corporate book store chains like Borders and Waldenbooks said they would donate any profits they made from If I Did It to charities which help victims of domestic violence.

Now He's In Jail For Something Else

So, most people who basically get away with murder would probably not break any more laws right? Why push your luck? But, in true O.J. Simpson fashion, he broke the law — again. In 2008, Simpson was finally convicted by a jury of his own peers. A court ruled that he was guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping after Simpson broke into a fan’s hotel room and stole a bunch of his own memorabilia. Really O.J.? Couldn’t you have just bought a jersey and signed your autograph on it?

Because he was convicted of a violent offense, the judge handed down a maximum 33-year-sentence. Since the aging athlete is already 65 years old, it’s very possible that he could end up spending the rest of his life in jail. The justice-filled irony of his current legal situation, was certainly not lost on reporters.

It Gets Ridiculous Again

Of course, O.J. Simpson can’t just quietly grow old behind bars like we all want him to. In a final desperate attempt to stay relevant, Simpson is now back in court, requesting that his convictions get thrown out claiming that he didn’t receive adequate legal representation during his trial.

In fact, Simpson is so confident that his conviction will be overturned, that he is already planning his life on the outside. He recently announced plans to become a guest speaker, touring law schools throughout the country. Simpson explained his latest career choice with this incredibly insightful statement, “I mean, they already teach ‘the trial of the century’ in school, who better to talk about than me?”

Getting legal advice from O.J. Simpson? Ridiculous.